Romans 5:1-5 Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also boast in our hardshipsa, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. (NRSV, amodified to NJB)
Last Friday (June 6), our Exodus family came together to watch “Anyone and Everyone,” a poignant documentary about the many challenges that parents and their gay children face during the life-changing coming out that many homosexual people endure. After the movie, we had a time of sharing, asking and responding to questions from our community.
One particular question spoke to my heart most especially. It was one I considered in the past week with a member of my own family. Even as out and proud gay parents, do we pray that our own children are not gay?
I desire to one day be a parent and have watched intently as my friends and family have had children of their own. I’m sure that, no matter what my child’s sexual orientation or gender identity, I must be open and accepting and loving. There is simply no other option with the experience and knowledge I have. But does my own experience inform me that life would be better if my child were not gay or transgender?
Inherent in the wish that any child not be gay, or bi, or trans is the acknowledgement that in our society homosexuality and gender variance can and does still result in violent responses from others. Parents facing the reality that their child is gay or trans also face the truth that yet another level of vulnerability has been added to their child’s life experience.
Knowing this, the desire that my child not be gay or trans really resides in the wish that my child not suffer. It’s my fear that in being different from what society calls “normal,” my child might endure similar torments that I endured. My child may be ridiculed. My child may be discriminated against. My child may be abused. If I spend one iota of time wishing that my child not be gay, I know that I am not wishing so because I believe something wrong with gay-“ness,” but that I’m wishing that my child not be harmed.
As a follower of Jesus’ example, I know that my surer path and that for my child rests with eternal hope and boundless love instead of fear. With that path comes the responsibility to change what I am able in order to raise my children with integrity and love. I cannot change the entirety of social perspective on homosexuality or on gender variance. I can model for my friends and family the path of love and acceptance for all and remind my siblings in Christ of the hope Christ has for us to live together in kindness and right relationship. I can teach my child the pride it took so long for me to learn and own. When it’s time, I can teach my child how to be an activist for self and for others.
And I can continually quell my fears with the everlasting hope Christ renews in me.
Blessings, -Mel
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
[Released in the 12 June 2008 Metropolitan Messenger, Exodus MCC's email newsletter. Sign up today!]
Perhaps that's not the most comfortable question in your world; it certainly hasn't always been in mine. Yet, it's an important question to consider, if not to answer boldly.
This past Sunday, our Prayers of the People were introduced as a "conference call to God." Together, we lift up our joys and our concerns. We turn them over and petition for grace and guidance. As a body, we take what we hold in worry and thanksgiving and give it into God's loving embrace. We open ourselves to commune (-icate) with God.
Yet, our Prayers of the People are but one way to pray.
MCC's own Rev. Delores Berry prays with a lung-ful of air and a bellowing voice that sings right to the soul of those gathered. Marsha Stevens prays through masterful lyrics. Rev. Nancy Wilson, at the dinner table, takes in a long, centering breath before pronouncing the meal "Blessed" - as clear a grace as I've ever heard. Children learn "Now I lay me down to sleep..." at early ages and countless Christians recite the Lord's Prayer every Sunday.
It's all prayer.
So... Do you pray?
As you walk through the day, think about the ways in which you commune (-icate) with God. Are there modes of prayer you could add to your routine? What gift has God given you which may be a path toward prayer?
Even if it's only a second...though you might try for five minutes or more...try prayer. Our examples of prayerful living prove its value.
Blessings, -Mel
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
[Released in the 4 June 2008 Metropolitan Messenger, Exodus MCC's email newsletter. Sign up today!]
